You do not need to know the name of a skill. Type what is happening in ordinary words.
Use your breathing to calm your body down.
Bring attention back to the present instead of the escalating story.
Release physical tension before it feeds the emotional reaction.
Picture a calm place so your body can settle.
Use safe physical activity to burn off the charge in your body.
Redirect attention long enough for emotional intensity to decrease.
Use music intentionally to shift attention and emotional intensity.
Change your environment and give yourself physical and mental space.
Put an accurate word to the emotion instead of acting it out.
Identify the vulnerable emotion that anger may be covering.
Notice what your body is telling you before it turns into something you do.
Distinguish what you feel from what you believe happened.
Identify the fear, insecurity, or belief underneath jealousy.
Recognize shame without turning it into anger, blame, or attack.
Recognize rejection without converting it into retaliation or control.
Notice when uncertainty or blocked expectations are driving the reaction.
Examine the meaning you added to what happened.
Identify what you know versus what your mind filled in.
Make room for explanations other than your first one.
Look at the event from a perspective that supports a safer response.
Talk yourself toward responsibility rather than permission.
Notice when wanting something becomes believing you are owed it.
Catch the thought that makes harmful behavior seem acceptable.
Look beyond the next thirty seconds before choosing what to do.
Step away before saying or doing something that makes the situation worse.
Stop, pause, observe, and choose before acting.
Give yourself enough time to choose instead of react.
Create physical distance without threatening, controlling, or continuing the conflict.
Allow emotional intensity to decrease without forcing an immediate resolution.
Consider returning to a conversation only when contact is lawful, wanted, and you can behave differently.
Experience a difficult feeling without immediately acting to remove it.
Recognize the sequence early enough to choose a different ending.
Say what you think, feel, or need clearly without becoming passive, aggressive, or controlling.
Pay attention to what another person is saying before preparing your defense.
Restate the other person’s message in your own words to check understanding.
Acknowledge the emotion another person appears to be expressing.
Communicate a preference or need without turning it into an order.
Find a workable response when two people want different things.
Focus on the specific issue instead of attacking character.
Address your part after conflict without using repair as a reason to contact someone who cannot or does not want contact.
Own your behavior without shifting responsibility onto another person or circumstance.
Take responsibility without attaching a condition that weakens or transfers it.
Notice common ways people reduce discomfort about their own behavior.
Understand why something happened without using that explanation to reduce responsibility.
Consider what your behavior actually did, not only what you meant.
Recognize that feelings and urges influence behavior without making it inevitable.
Recognize another person’s right to refuse, stop, change their mind, or choose differently.
Recognize another adult’s right to make choices about their own life.
Allow another person physical and emotional distance when they ask for it.
Follow court orders and lawful restrictions exactly.
Notice attempts to manage another person’s choices, movement, relationships, or independence.
Replace attempts to control another person with a response focused on your own behavior.
Recognize early signals that you are moving toward a higher-risk state.
Use a specific plan you made while calm to guide you when calm is harder to find.