The Space Between
Book
Skill

Take a Time Out

Step away before saying or doing something that makes the situation worse.

Before you use this with another personUse communication, repair, return, or contact only when it is lawful and the other person is willing. If a court order limits contact, location, or communication, follow it exactly. A coping or communication skill never creates permission to call, text, message, visit, follow, return, or use another person to pass a message.
What it is

A Time Out is a deliberate decision to step away from conflict before you say or do something that makes the situation worse.

How to do it
Notice the warning signs.
If contact is allowed, say briefly that you are taking a Time Out.
Create real distance.
Do not continue the argument by text, phone, another room, or through someone else.
Use the time to calm yourself down.
Return or make contact only when it is lawful, appropriate, the other person is willing, and you can behave differently.
Try It Now
Remember
A Time Out is about controlling your next move, not controlling the conversation.
Want to understand this more deeply?

Chapter 4: Step Away Before I React

Read the story and teaching behind this skill, then come back here when you want to practice it.

Read chapter

Related Skills

Skill

Pause Before Responding

Give yourself enough time to choose instead of react.

Skill

Return When I’m Calm

Consider returning to a conversation only when contact is lawful, wanted, and you can behave differently.

Skill

Interrupt the Pattern

Recognize the sequence early enough to choose a different ending.