Skill

Use Accountable Self-Talk

Talk yourself toward responsibility rather than permission.

What it is

Self-talk is the running commentary in your head. Accountable self-talk moves you toward responsibility rather than permission.

How to do it

Notice the sentence in your head.

Ask whether it increases blame or responsibility.

Remove made me, had to, and deserved.

Replace them with language about choice.

Repeat the new statement before acting.

Remember

The voice in your head can give you permission or give you direction.

Want to understand this more deeply?

Chapter 3: Slow My Thinking

Read the story and teaching behind this skill, then come back here when you want to practice it.

Own your behavior without shifting responsibility onto another person or circumstance.

Catch the thought that makes harmful behavior seem acceptable.

Recognize that feelings and urges influence behavior without making it inevitable.