Skill

Replace Control With a Healthy Choice

Replace attempts to control another person with a response focused on your own behavior.

Before you use this with another personUse communication, repair, return, or contact only when it is lawful and the other person is willing. If a court order limits contact, location, or communication, follow it exactly. A coping or communication skill never creates permission to call, text, message, visit, follow, return, or use another person to pass a message.

What it is

This skill means replacing attempts to control another person with a response focused on your own behavior.

How to do it

Notice the urge to control.

Identify the feeling underneath it.

Identify what you want from the other person.

Ask what part is actually under your control.

Choose a self-directed response.

Respect the other person’s decision.

Try It Now

Remember

The healthiest control is control over your own behavior.