Skill

Listen to Understand

Pay attention to what another person is saying before preparing your defense.

Before you use this with another personUse communication, repair, return, or contact only when it is lawful and the other person is willing. If a court order limits contact, location, or communication, follow it exactly. A coping or communication skill never creates permission to call, text, message, visit, follow, return, or use another person to pass a message.

What it is

Listening to understand means paying attention to the message instead of planning your response.

How to do it

Stop preparing your rebuttal.

Listen for the main message.

Listen for the feeling underneath it.

Paraphrase what you heard.

Ask if you understood correctly.

Respond only after understanding.

Try It Now

Remember

Understanding someone does not require surrendering your position.